Monday, December 20, 2010

Its the week of christmas, and its the worst.

Honestly? your asking how im feeling?
To be honest, i feel lower than the ground and earth itself.
I have that feeling when you just come out of surgery and it feels lie you have been hit by a truck and everything in your body hurts.
I feel like my boyfriend has been killed in a major accident and i will never be able to get him back.
I feel like everything that i have tried and lied for to get, has been ripped right out of my hands within seconds.

All i have wanted for the past 6 hours was somebody to wipe my tears for me. To tell me it will be ok. To understand how much i love him and need him in my life. To let me see him and stay with him whenever i wanted. To have a shoulder and some arms to fall into, just so i can feel that little bit better. To truely listen to what i have to say and take it into consideration. To have them want me to be happy and to have him by my side. I want to know what a happy ending feels like...

Maybe you should look behind the fake smile, and happy voice and see how im really coping with this. Then maybe i wont do what makes you so dissapointed.

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